sex

Naked Condo on Internet Hookups
He argues that the Internet enables meeting up. Lots of interesting points on how youth use the Internet, pornography and not getting laid.
Sex and the single woman
A better title would have been "Baby gender and cohabitation", but guess which one would have caught my attention more?

Even Our Inner Conversation With Ourselves

David Allyn: “Much, if not most, of the pleasure associated with sex comes from not having sex but from talking about having it. Stimulation and orgasm are certainly enjoyable, but it is the meaning we attach to sex through conversation that gives such physical sensations their true potency. Whether it be in the locker room, bedroom, or the boardroom — before, during, or after — our conversations about sex (even our inner conversations with ourselves) shape our experience of it. For all its faults, the sexual revolution taught us how to speak about sex more directly, more clearly, and, most important, more authentically than we ever knew how to before. We may not always take advantage of all the sexual revolution has made available to us in this regard, but the possibility of doing so is now ours so long as we hold on to it.”

For the record, I haven't read this book, but only skimmed through it once at the library and came across this passage, which, also for the record, was the second-last paragraph of the book.

After Which the Spirit Convicts With Waves of Shame

Paulo on sex and the single Christian guy: “Next time that temptation comes to indulge in just a little more of those lovely "art" nude photos, just a little more snuggly making-out, just a little more peering through scrambled late night Pay-Per-View, one does well to seize that "way of escape," a simple act of will to stop. To continue past that point would be active rebellion, after which the Spirit convicts with waves of shame, and that's never a good place to be in.”

Un coup de tonnerre

Karl: Le verbe « baiser » contient une promesse, un chemin d'aventure, une exploration élégante contenue dans une énigme aux profondeurs océaniques. Pourquoi vouloir « faire l'amour » quand on peut baiser. C'est un mot qui commence par une large ouverture de la bouche comme un claquement, un coup de tonnerre qui vous libère avec une bouche bée et se termine sur le son d'une cigale.

Karl then discusses why he does not like the phrase "make love", mostly because of the word "make" at the beginning. He's also not satisfied with the word "love", mostly because he loved more than he kissed.

Kissing is what I miss most about dating. Everything else was icing on the cake.

Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me
Really sad and funny and true, all at the same time.

An Absurd Victorian Omission

Dave Pollard: “no where in school sex education programs are students told that all healthy sexual activity is fun. This seems to me an absurd, Victorian omission. This is an important message. It's a fact, not a moral judgement. Not only would this message make it easier to teach the subject, it would go a long way to erasing many of the stigmas and guilt feelings that impede healthy sexual development.”

This reminds me of something I wrote in university back in 2000—before I knew what a weblog was—that may potentially disqualify me from holding any high-level elected office. I'll quote a bit of it here: "sex is treated by our education system as sterile. It focuses on where the different reproductive organs are, how a baby is created and where the pieces, so to speak, fit. Let's not forget the Learning Channel episodes on how sex works. Interesting enough, but not once in high school did we learn how to get laid. We are supposed to figure that out by ourselves." Dave Pollard is saying something similar, but he is more interested in teaching that sex is a pleasurable, exciting and as he also emphasizes, fun.

Jeremy Lott: “MTV Books published Marty Beckerman's raunchy anti-sex book Generation S.L.U.T. (when I interviewed him for a story that never quite came together, Beckerman rejected that characterization, though I doubt people who read the book will disagree with me) ”

I've read the book, and is against the type of sex that is anonymous and unfulfilling—or "cheap and tawdry" to use a phrase that those who follow current events would recognize—as well of the type of sex that happens around page 163 or so. (It was Beckerman himself who "warned" me about that part when I emailed him to let him know I had started reading it.) It does not comment much on lazy, easy, fun sex with many different, enthusiastic partners, so to claim that it is anti-sex is only half true. It is anti-unhealthy-sex, and as Pollard notes, finding the balance is hard, but responding to the negative so extremely, by teaching what sex is and then telling kids not to do it, just reinforces the negative. Outlaw something fun and only the outlaws will have fun.

At Least an Interesting Thought

Jay: “It seems to me that the argument about loving multiple people is a good argument, or at least an interesting thought. But not Parton's vision of communist world order he thinks it will make possible.”

Jay is responding to "Love Politics: A Case Against Monogamy" by Glenn Parton, Dave Pollard's reaction, and my reaction. In my comments, I reject the anti-Americanism, mysticism, and to an extent, the communism in the argument while accepting the point Parton is trying to make, that loving more than one person is not only possible but ideal. Jay also rejects the communism in the argument, and stops short of rejecting the main point—he accepts that it is possible and ideal for some, but not for him.

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