Nerds Only Think About Sex
Posted by Richard on Monday, 13 June 2005First Craigslist got into the act, and now making the rounds is a New York Daily News article claiming that nerds make better lovers. Yeah, I call bullshit on pretty much all of it. For brevity's sake, let's just go through all the famous people and/or millionaires—with one exception, which is easily explained away—that are mentioned in the article. Most of them are actually guesses, since I don't know what went through the heads of anybody involved, so consider these hypotheses more than anything.
- Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Arthur Miller because he was a geek. She married him because he wrote Death of a Salesman.
- Christina Aguilera married music executive Jordan Bratman not because he's a geek, but rather because he's a music executive.
- Scott Dennis of Brooklyn—whoever that is—did not land girlfriends because was a geek but because he is “former jock, drummer in a rock band”, as the article says parenthetically.
- David Arquette married Courtney Cox because he's an actor, not a geek.
- What the fuck is Tiger Woods even doing in that article, on the sidebar? He is definitely not a nerd.
- Adam Brody is only “slightly geeky” (ouch), but overwhelmingly an actor.
So in other words if we are to use the above as the examples from which we can make a generalization, then rich, famous extroverts (or any one or two of the three) get girls. You'll note that the actual nerds who are approvingly linking to the article (as opposed to those who link to it and distance themselves from it, like yours truly) are themselves extroverts. Most egregiously, though, the article does not quote from Revenge of the Nerds, in which Lewis says to his pleasantly surprised partner, post-coitus: "Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex."
I know that as a nerd I should be passing this article on to as many people and saying stuff like "well, what can I say?". It is, after all, in my direct interest to do so. But despite working for a company in which my nerdly skills are part of what got me the job, I'm still trying to defect from geekdom, because I still believe that nerds only think about sex, when I'd rather be doing it.