Eve Tushnet: “Boys look to their fathers to figure out who they might become and how to achieve manhood. Both sons and daughters learn from their fathers what a man's place is in the family, and what women can expect of men. (This is one major reason that girls raised out of wedlock are more likely to make bad choices about sex: They don't think they can set standards and demand responsibility from men, because they haven't seen that type of responsibility in their own families.) No "male role model" — no uncle, teacher or friend — can fill a child's need for a father.”

Tushnet is reviewing Gay Marriage: Why It Is Good for Gays, Good for Straights, and Good for America by Jonathan Rauch. Tushnet says that Rauch, in an otherwise important book, does not spend enough time discussing the issues of children in marriages, gay and straight.

Chickpea has some notes and a review of the book, and notes the diversity in possible relationships, gay and straight: “If Rauch points to infertile couples and says that this shows that marriage is not really about fertility, then I can just as easily point to uncaring marriages or open marriages to show that marriage must not really be about caring for each other or about fidelity. Marriage is promoted in order to encourage mutual-caregiving, fidelity, and procreation, even though particular marriages may not attain those ends.”

(Jonathan Rauch is the author of one of the most important articles I've ever read, "Caring For Your Introvert".)