Leah McLaren's So-Called Dating Ineptitude

Leah McLaren: “In me limited experience datin', I have been known t': arrive late, talk in detail about me previ'us relationships, mention me mother a lot, drink out o' nervousness, bitch about work, reveal th' names I have picked out fer me firstborn little sandcrabs (Sybil fer a lass, Magnus fer a lad), answer me cellphone, spill wine an' flee th' restaurant after th' first course, feignin' illness. And that's just fer starters.”

"Limited experience", by Blackbeard's sword? Gimme a break!