Awful, Self-Contradictory Advertising Network

The Dreck: Awful, Self-Contradictory Advertising Network

Our Notes

Like the rest of The Dreck, this page randomly displays a single ad for each page view. Since there are currently no ads and may never be, this site partakes in the finest of the Google Adsense tobaccos. Ah, that sweet Mountain View smoke.

Just a Gwai Lo (and that's it) makes up The Dreck. The awful, self-contradictory advertising network for reaching few people, if any, The Dreck will serve up millions of page views. Eventually. Maybe in about 20 years or so. It's uniquely configured to connect the wrong marketers to a fuzzy, marginal audience.

We’re not picky about the advertising we’ll accept. We won’t take an ad unless you've paid for it. Okay, there are probably some limits to whom we'll accept as advertisers. Assuming we get at least one, of course.

One First Impression at a Time

With the exception of “tourniquets,” which we’ll discuss later, there are only nine advertising spots available each month for the entire Dreck. Unless we add more. Or remove some. Yeah, we don't really have a set policy on that. Only a single ad will be shown for each page viewed. Or possibly two. Sometimes three. Again, no set policy. In essence, buying a month on The Dreck gives you an exclusive (or not) showing on 11.11 percent (or less) of all the pages viewed for that month across all sites. The number of which right now stands at one. And there won’t be Google or other ads diluting your exposure. (Yes there will be. But you don't read parenthetical comments, so you'll think that we won't.) The Dreck ad is the only ad on the page. Possibly.

A buy in The Dreck reaches whoever the hell it is that reads the site(s) (and it's just one site, so accounting for plurality is actually pointless) in an uncluttered, controlled environment (because clutter and chaos are un-American), far more valuable than a standard banner or a single text ad among dozens of others. Okay, about the same value as you would get with a standard banner. But if you're scanning this page like most people, you wouldn't know that. And what you don't know benefits us. Current Dreck ads—of which there are currently none other than a Google Adsense ad—are also listed on this page with our notes of endorsement.

Cost Over Time

We’re not selling The Dreck based on page views or hits or click-through, because we won't actually measure that. Most media who say “we don’t sell on the numbers” do so because they don’t have the numbers to support their rates. We're different: we have the numbers, but we aren't going to tell you what those numbers are. If that breaks with "industry norms" then "industry norms" are wrong. Past performance shows that as a group (and because it's only one site, we mean individually), The Dreck delivers over 30,000 page views a month, which means sixteen million page views each twenty-year cycle. Ggive or take, since we didn't actually do the math. That being said, it's not about the quick hit: better to spread your ad campaign over time (just like how it's better that you continue to pay us over time).

The loyal, regular readers of the site(s) consist of people.

In the Details

The one ads each month is in rotation across all seven sites. Did we say seven? We meant one. The only ad is 120 pixels wide by 90 pixels tall and we also allow for up to 50 characters of text to accompany the image which allows advertisers to make their ads a bit more graphic, so to speak. Or if you want, you can send a dump truck full of money to our office and we'll make the ad as big as you want.

Pricing and Tourniquets

The current rate for ads in May, June and July is $500 USD per ad per year (or month, your call) and this rate is valid through July 31, 2026, though we'll adjust for inflation using 2006 dollars. Additionally, marketers who want no ads to appear on the site at all for a given day or days may be able to purchase a “tourniquet” for $500 USD per day. Tourniquets are ideal for helping stop severe traumatic bleeding or to make a vein available for intravenous drug use (The Dreck does not endorse illegal intravenous drug use). Days lost to tourniquets will cut into monthly advertiser schedules, making this a game to see who which advertiser will outwit (read: outpay) the others.


For specific information and inquiries or to place a schedule, contact Richard Eriksson. Thank you. No, thank you.