The thrilling conclusion of replacing my old, defective MacBook Pro battery. Since when DHL came to the office and evidently nobody answered (not sure that even happened), I would have had to call Apple to tell DHL where to deliver it. Except I was on Vancouver Island for the Christmas holidays, and didn't know if they'd be able to deliver it to my parents' place before I left. So instead, I picked it up at the DHL depot at 303 Vernon St.
That's when plugged in and fully charged. It jumps up (!) to 26% when I unplug it. Screenshot taken using coconutBattery. I've consulted the battery exchange page for MacBook Pro 15-inch laptops, but that doesn't apply to me. I'm going to try battery callibration, but that seems like voodoo. One person tried this but success looks limited, and my case is extreme since I bought my MacBook Pro 8 months ago. I get about 20-30 minutes of battery life. Should (or can) I get a replacement battery from Apple?