This weekend was not a particularly good one: surrounded by too many people with not enough sleep or alone time and insubstantial breakfasts. (No complaints about the lunches or dinners, which were both delicious and free.) This is not an apology, because those around me got an accurate reflection on the outside of how I felt on the inside, nor is it a promise to be better about conferences or other large gatherings of people talking loudly in the future. It is, rather, an acknoledgement of a regression from about 9 months ago, when I decided to make a change in outlook to not so much focus on the positive but to avoid dwelling on the negative.
The upcoming conference in Portland looks like it will be more of the same. Those attending the conference over the weekend with me may not know this, but I gave serious consideration to asking to be left out of this upcoming one. That said, an afternoon walk (which came after a late afternoon awakaning) convinced me enjoy it for what it will be, this time instead of a weekend working vacation in Seattle, a city I'm ambivalent about, it will be a week-long working vacation I would move to in a heartbeat if I met the citizenship and/or work-permit requirements. If enough opportunities for escape present themselves at the conference, I have some ideas, if not fully-formed, on how to spend the time "alone".
For now though, work and weekend projects for the next month or so until then should keep me occupied enough not to think too much about how I felt over the weekend. That, and I'll probably be spending a lot more time in my pool now that summer is officially here.
