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You Chose Pussy Over Coke and Booze

October 21, 2004

Marty Beckerman, author of Generation S.L.U.T.: A Brutal Feel-up Session with Today's Sex-Crazed Adolescent Populace, has written an article on the 2004 United States Presidential election and it would be an understatement to say that he dislikes both candidates:

George W. Bush: Fuck you. You are an insane Jesus Freak, and I'd rather have a million Catholic priests in a million little league locker rooms than you as my president. You believe God literally tells you what to do, and this is how you decide your foreign policy. You confessed to the former Palestinian prime minister that Jesus told you to invade Iraq. You don't know jack shit about anything. You hate the Constitution, you're no better than the Taliban, you spent your life doing coke and drinking until your wife finally threatened to pack her bags, so you chose pussy over coke and booze at the reckless young age of forty. (How noble.)

Beckerman solidifies his position as the voice of Twentysomething America in the sentence that follows the above quote.

Later, about John Kerry: “You voted against Gulf War I, a war that you praised in your debates with Bush, while you voted for Gulf War II, which you've said is "the wrong war at the wrong place at the wrong time." You keep saying, "I defended this country as a young man, and I will defend it as president of the United States," but after your four-month tour of Vietnam, you claimed that you (and your fellow soldiers) committed atrocities to advance imperialism. So how the fuck did you defend America (unless you were defending it from Richard Nixon)? You have no consistent positions on anything. You are a man without a soul, just as Bush is a man without a mind.”

tags: George W. Bush, John Kerry, Marty Beckerman
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