What I call Harvey Pekar Moments the author of Naked Condo better describes as "internal cinema". I quote at length:
My lovelife consists mostly of the internal cinema. No, not that kind of cinema.
The one where you look at the girl sitting across from you on the bus and you imagine some scenario where you talk to her. "I like your blue dreadlocks," you say suavely. "Here's my number," she says shyly but with an undertone of anticipation.
Of course, the way this actually works is:
1. attractive woman gets on the bus and sits across the aisle
2. one entertains oneself briefly with the thought: am I getting a look? was that a look? I think that was a look.
3. attractive woman gets off the bus and is never seen again
I've lost count how many times something like that has happened. That said, I wonder what the cost of taking what we do in our internal cinemas into the real world is. The only people we would embarrass ourselves in front of are strangers. Who cares about those assholes anyway? They don't know us, and can't bring our embarrassment up in conversation the next day, because the next day is jusg going to bring a completely different group of strangers. It probably means making a mental script—well, okay, the motion picture metaphor is an easy one to slip into—and substitute the details as necessary. Instead of the above blue dreadlocks, it could be the fact that she's wearing all red, including hair and shoes. Isn't that, despite her shy posture, something she does to call attention to herself? Same goes for girls who see the cute guy but shy guy with glasses, who is reading an interesting looking book and is totally not a convenient way for me to insert myself into the scenario. I'll bet you dollar to doughnuts that he would rather talk to a pretty yet shy girl than be lost in a book. (Hell, he may even be thinking of something to say to you!) It needs to be something like what George Costanza did: exactly opposite of what his instincts told him. I know that saying to someone like that "I couldn't help notice you're dressed all in red, but y'know, it works for you. What's your name?" is exactly the opposite of what I'd say. It's pretty crazy, but maybe it's crazy enough to work?
A call to arms? Hardly. I say crazy shit mostly because I need to break out of the internal cinema. The internal cinema exists, and I know it well. But increasingly I'm coming to know about the alternatives, and they're a lot less scary than I first imagined.
