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Just a Gwai Lo - fun within prescribed limits

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80% Guy

Via makeoutcity.com comes word that Lance is an 80% guy. I'm an 80% guy too, except unlike Lance I'm not 41 but rather 25 and not gay but rather heterosexual. The concept of an "80% guy" validates my newfound tactic of literally, physically avoiding beautiful women as they approach, or worse, that I'm walking behind. (Best way I've come up to avoid walking behind beautiful women is walking in front of them.) That way, I don't have to look at them, and don't have to think "I could never have her".

A case in point. The other day, I'm sitting on a bus in the seats which are parallel to the windows, where the people who are sitting on both sides can see each other. (In short, the seats facing sideways, duh.) It's only me sitting on one side and a very pretty Asian girl with long, beautiful hair with red highlights sitting on the other. She starts fixing her lipstick—a rather pretty shade of pink—using her combination brush-slash-mirror and then proceeds to call further attention to herself by brushing her hair. In a very much "guy" moment, I stare dumbfounded, my mouth no doubt agog, but I thankfully not only catch myself doing so, but think to myself "she's doing that on purpose to get my attention!" (as if I had proof that she was doing it on purpose, but that's the way I think) and then "I can't take it anymore!" and I get up and in a huff, walk to a different seat where she's not in view. Relief.

There is much (much!) in Lance's post, which, if you adjust for sexual orientation, also applies to me. It takes a certain amount—somewhere between "a lot" and "quite a lot"—of balls not only to admit that one needs therapy to deal with intimacy issues, not only go through with it, but talk about it publicly—an amount of balls I don't have at the moment.

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Follow @sillygwailo on Twitter!

  • @vanmega pants are a challenge no matter what you're doing.
  • How do awkward nerds do at SXSW? #couchbeers
  • @jordanbehan I'm going to hurtle downtown for #couchbeers. If you hear something crashing into the Strutta building, that's me and my bike.
  • Is the bike parking situation on the Vancouver Art Gallery block really as bad as I think it is?
  • @bmann I don't need an excuse to go to Bowen Island on Sunday, but if there's a Tweetup, I'll happily claim that's why I'm going!

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