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J.Lo's Vagina Monologue

August 6, 2003

Well, maybe there is a reason to see Gigli:

The scene: Larry (Ben Affleck) and Ricki (Jennifer Lopez), a lesbian, engage in spirited banter about their respective genitalia.

Larry begins by saying a woman just doesn't have what it takes to satisfy another woman:

Larry: OK, when it comes to pleasing a woman, you know girlfriends, they just, they're at a natural disadvantage. It's like they may try hard but they're just not backed up by millions of years of genetic engineering, programming instinct. Nature has evolved man for that purpose ... to satisfy, to lead the pack. Whereas lesbians are always going out, you know, and spending all of their dough on sexual appliances to compensate for what they don't have, for what they're not getting. Yeah. That's right. The very design tells you everything you need to know -- the forward motion, the work in progress, the dark, deep mysterious unknown. It's like an adventure-seeking, frontier-conquering, obstacle-eradicating..."

Ricki: The penis is like some sort of bizarre sea slug or like a real long big toe. It's important, but the pinnacle of sexual design, the top of the list of erotic destinations? I don't think so. One's first impulse is to kiss? What? To kiss the lips. Firm, delicious, rich, sweet lips. Surrounding a warm, moist, soothingly scented mouth. That's what everyone wants to kiss. Not a toe. Not a slug. The mouth. And why do you think that is? Because the mouth is the twin system of the almost exact lookalike of the one between the folds. The mouth is the twin system of the vagina. ... The opening ... to be taken in, engulfed, to be squeezed, lovingly crushed by what is truly the most wonderful, most caressing mouth. If it's design you're concerned with, hidden meaning, symbolism, power, forget the top of Mount Everest, forget the bottom of the sea, the moon and the stars. There is no place, no where that has been the object of more ambitions, of more battles, than the sweet, sacred mystery between a woman's legs that I am proud to call my pussy.

tags: Gigli, Jennifer Lopez
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